Go Gators.

Wagner's class: awesome.

Receipts: Useful for more than just tax audits

Whenever I buy something, I always get a receipt. That way, if I ever get wrongfully accused of a crime, I whip out my receipt, and BAM I'm off the hook.

Just imagine: a bare, 60-watt lightbulb swings gently from its cord a few feet above my head. In the dank, windowless room, it's just enough light to make out the silhouetted figure of the tough-as-nails police detective who's putting me through the wringer. Lime scale is barely visible on the dank concrete block walls. The musty odor of mold and lost hopes is unmistakable.

-Make it easy on yourself and tell me why you committed the murder, pal.
-I didn't.
-Oh yeah?
-Yeah, see, I bought a roll of tropical-fruit Lifesavers at the exact time of the murder.
-Oops.

Lifesavers: The sweet taste of vindication.

It's go time.

I'm awesome. My life is interesting. You want to hear about it, but I'm not around. Quite the conundrum, eh?

Not so. I figured it was high time I joined everyone in 2004 and started a blog. Now, thanks to the miracle of the internet, you can get all the Alex all the time.

Get ready to rock.